I suspect, a tragedy that took place a little over three months ago, far from where you live is a distant memory. I happen to live an hour from Newtown, Connecticut, where on December 14, a deranged killer murdered 20 children and six adults. So, that memory is fresh and very raw.
To say that this tragedy shook the surrounding communities would be a gross understatement. As my wife and I struggled to make sense of it all, we made sure to hug our kids a little tighter, spend more time with them and simply be more present for each other. That hasn't changed, but I wanted to do something more to remember those innocent souls.
A few days before this disaster, as I was driving around the New Britain (a town near Hartford, Connecticut) one foggy morning, I came upon Batterson Park Pond. The fog was so dense that I couldn't see past 30 or 40 feet. As I got out of the car with my camera, I could hear the flutter of birds taking off. I couldn't actually see them. And then everything went quiet, except for sound my feet were making as I walked over the wet grass. Since I couldn't see anything anyway, I closed my eyes for a few months and took a few deep breaths in. Slowing down felt good. I had been running from one assignment to another and things were starting to blur.
I opened my eyes again and I saw this image you see below.
I made four or six frames and felt in my gut that I had captured something I would go back to some day in the future. These images were made deliberately because I truly felt the urge to create them.
The sounds I heard but birds and animals I didn't see left an indelible mark on me. There was solitude and peace amidst the chaos of life. After the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre, I couldn't help but think of my time at the pond and the images I created there. I pulled them into Lightroom and as the images popped up, I think I surprised myself a bit by choking up. As I said, emotions here are still running high.
As fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts and grandparents we have to find a way to pull together and find that peace amongst us. Somehow. I am not sure the passing of time will make things any easier for the parents of those 20 babies. That line people use often is trite and rather ambiguous at best. It leaves us nothing to hold on to, which is what I think as a parent I would want to do.
As a photographer, I'll continue to make quiet images like the one you see above. That may be the way I survive through this. It's not so much to keep my mind off of it but to bring more presence into what I am doing any way. It's not about “moving on” but carrying on with more purpose. Does that make sense?
When Ann Curry, the news correspondent, urged us to ask ourselves – “what can I do?” – and proposed 26 act of kindness, I wondered if I could share the image as a large print with 26 individuals. I first proposed the idea to my neighbor Carmine Masi, who didn't flinch even for a second before diving for his check book and making a donation.
These prints aren't for sale in the traditional way they would be available on one of my sites. No, what I am asking people to do is to make a donation of $100 or more to the Sandy Hook School Support Fund, c/o Newtown Savings Bank, 39 Main St., Newtown, Conn. 06470. Once you make that donation, simply email me your receipt and include your full name and shipping address so that I can send you the print. Email me with your receipt and contact information here – seshu {at} tiffinbox.org. Please use the subject line – “Sandy Hook Elementary School Fund.”
A word about the print and the printing: I approached Caitlin & Jeffrey Lazo, who own the award-winning custom print lab ProDPI, at the annual Mystic Seminars. They readily agreed to sponsor this initiative and print and mount this image as a 16″x20″ print. I am truly grateful to them and want to recognize how incredibly generous they are towards photographers. By the way, if you haven't guessed yet, ProDPI is my preferred lab for all of my client and personal prints.
Please note that no one is attempting to make any money on this gesture. I have simply supplied ProDPI one of my images, which they have agreed to print free of charge. This image will never be printed again as a 16×20, and in fact may never be offered again. Right now, I am just focused on delivering 26 prints to 26 homes to remember the 26 people we lost at Sandy Hook Elementary School.
If you are interested in displaying this image on your wall, now is the time to make that commitment to the Sandy Hook School Support Fund. Thank you for being you!
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